Saturday, June 01, 2002
Better Off Alone
She happened to come into the bar on one very lonely night; the bar was empty save for a few pool-playing souls. She was having fun reading and singing an occasional song from the jukebox. Her mission that night was to become as drunk as she could. She actually succeeded; in fact, she'd had more than she planned to have. She got to flirt with the cute bartender, the one who was nice and had a lower voice. And then some people came in. Supposedly, they were her friends. She was getting rather tired of them, using her or each other. Suddenly she wanted them out of the bar, to leave her alone with her aloneness, to grace somewhere else with their presence. But who was she kidding? She didn't have any more right to make them leave; they hadn't done anything to her to warrant that kind of treatment. So she left...she left and went somewhere else. She made her way to a dance club on the suspicion that she might have fun there. She was right. She had so much fun dancing and singing, not caring that she was wearing a strange hat or that she was alone in the club full of people that she didn't know. She wasn't out to pick up anyone. She was out to be alone in the crowd, a feeling she'd almost entirely lost. She felt free and unopressed, so different than the bars four blocks down that her friends frequented. They weren't about to go to this slice of heaven, this underrated dive bar that existed not so far away from her friends. And the thought made her smile. Alone. It wasn't so bad.
She happened to come into the bar on one very lonely night; the bar was empty save for a few pool-playing souls. She was having fun reading and singing an occasional song from the jukebox. Her mission that night was to become as drunk as she could. She actually succeeded; in fact, she'd had more than she planned to have. She got to flirt with the cute bartender, the one who was nice and had a lower voice. And then some people came in. Supposedly, they were her friends. She was getting rather tired of them, using her or each other. Suddenly she wanted them out of the bar, to leave her alone with her aloneness, to grace somewhere else with their presence. But who was she kidding? She didn't have any more right to make them leave; they hadn't done anything to her to warrant that kind of treatment. So she left...she left and went somewhere else. She made her way to a dance club on the suspicion that she might have fun there. She was right. She had so much fun dancing and singing, not caring that she was wearing a strange hat or that she was alone in the club full of people that she didn't know. She wasn't out to pick up anyone. She was out to be alone in the crowd, a feeling she'd almost entirely lost. She felt free and unopressed, so different than the bars four blocks down that her friends frequented. They weren't about to go to this slice of heaven, this underrated dive bar that existed not so far away from her friends. And the thought made her smile. Alone. It wasn't so bad.
