Thursday, July 18, 2002
Forgotten
It was better somehow, when she was alone, without the others around. Better because then she didn't have to vie for anyone's attention and no one would have to vie for hers. Better because then she could pay attention to herself and no one else. Better because then she didn't have to deal with any desires and insecurities. Better because then she was alone. How dramatic, Black Jacket says. I nearly weep for you. I think you should be alone and limit the time that you spend in that wastehole you frequent. Maybe then I'd be spared this inisidious drivel. Things like this make her angry but at the same time she sees his point. It is drivel, plain and simple. Most of it is due to insecurities...she is never sure whether anyone wants her around at any point or not. With some people, it certainly feels that way...some hide it well, others do not. But then there are the people whose presence weighs heavily on Crazy Girl. She does not want them anywhere near her. She sighs and watches the door again. She had thought that she was rid of John and his girlfriend but they came back. They came back and she curses the heavens. Now her paranoia for their presences heightens....
It was better somehow, when she was alone, without the others around. Better because then she didn't have to vie for anyone's attention and no one would have to vie for hers. Better because then she could pay attention to herself and no one else. Better because then she didn't have to deal with any desires and insecurities. Better because then she was alone. How dramatic, Black Jacket says. I nearly weep for you. I think you should be alone and limit the time that you spend in that wastehole you frequent. Maybe then I'd be spared this inisidious drivel. Things like this make her angry but at the same time she sees his point. It is drivel, plain and simple. Most of it is due to insecurities...she is never sure whether anyone wants her around at any point or not. With some people, it certainly feels that way...some hide it well, others do not. But then there are the people whose presence weighs heavily on Crazy Girl. She does not want them anywhere near her. She sighs and watches the door again. She had thought that she was rid of John and his girlfriend but they came back. They came back and she curses the heavens. Now her paranoia for their presences heightens....
# posted by Crazy Girl @ 12:20 
