Thursday, November 07, 2002
Around It Goes
The cycle is always there...humans, the cyclical creatures. Fall, Winter, Summer, Spring. Love, Life, and Happiness. And Nothingness. She can feel the spinning of the earth and it feels like a whorl, a downward spiral of sorts, into an abyss of nothingness, into a world that curiously is much like the one she's in but it's different. There's people like her...people with the right amount of idealism and cynicism. People who care and can get mad but also realize that they have their opinions and let others have theirs. In this world is where Crazy Girl's true love lies. He is the shadow against the dark. He is the saving hand in the deprevation of the fog. He is the mysterious one, the one of comfort and of love. Everything she is and isn't and pretends to be so he is. He lives in twilight, not sunlight, not only night. Together, these two angelic demons have the power to crush the world and to save it from ruin. They are fair judges and harsh executioners. Their love is a love that is completely misunderstood and laughed at but it is the only real love that superceedes all other kinds of love. It is the only kind of love that conveys meaning in a single look, a single touch...even in presence or lack thereof. It is a breathtaking and breathless love. Crazy Girl feels sad becuase she can't have him. She can't find him. She sees bits in other men, sometimes, but he knows who he is...he knows who she is. He's dreamed of her too. Their love is love for eternity. A world that includes just them, seperate from the rest of the world. It is a love that includes hate and negatives but is mostly positive and forgiving. Crazy Girl forgives the world because the world will never forgive her....
Tears stream down Crazy Girl's face. The world is harsh, and it's even more mean to Crazy Girl in particular. She stands inbetween those who not only do not believe in God, but believe in nothing. Not believing in God is fine. Not believing in anything isn't. People who believe in nothing don't forgive or have compassion and just drift there justifying their existence by the fact that they're here, entitiled to anything and everything. Even Wiccans can be forgiving and compassionate. But also there are the Christians who believe in entitlement. As if just believing in Jesus Christ automatically saves you. That doesn't make sense. That's too easy, too trite. "Are you saved?" they ask. "I won't know until I get to heaven," she responds. Her understanding of religion is too deep and complex for many people to understand so they make fun of her, either for being Christian or for being Catholic. She has seen the lions and it's you. She shies away from discussions on religion because it always turns into "Those Damn Fascist Christians" or "Those Hideously Evil Paganistic Catholics Who Will Fry In Hell". She is amused by these two groups because they are so alike except for their religions. They don't see it, they are oblivious to the fact that they're using the same names and the same arguements to hate each other. Religion is in rituals and traditions; faith and belief are what make a Christian, or any other religion that people believe in. Everyone loves the hebrew (old) testement God; He will crush your enemies and the unfaithful. But that isn't the teachings of Jesus, which, being a Christian, confuses Crazy Girl about other Christians. Jesus was about compassion and forgiveness. Judgement is up to God. What's so hard to understand about that? What's so hard about letting stuff go? What's so hard about stopping yourself from judging the world and letting God do it for you? For all of Crazy Girl's harsh indictments of people, deep down she doesn't care about it. Ultimately, God takes care of that. So what people are mean to her and are totally loopy? That's not her department. They will get what is due to them. All she can do is just forgive them. But it gets hard to do that when people don't understand what that is all about...and then personally attack her for believing in the God she does. She doesn't care what religion anyone is. She doesn't even really care if a person doesn't believe anything. She just doesn't like being mocked because she chooses to believe in God. As if someone's beliefs are totally superior to anyone else's. Just because she's a Christian doesn't mean that she believes that she has the superior religion. "It is you who say I am".
In her world, religion isn't a big deal. People have their religions and pretty much keep their faiths to themselves. They do try to convert people but they aren't harsh and insulting about it. In her world, everyone realizes that they have their own beliefs and religions and that's perfectly okay because the people of her world value different viewpoints. Those of different religions sit around and discuss their respective religions without insulting each other and inform each other of the various beliefs, and no one thinks that one's faith is jeopordized by listening to other people's beliefs. There is tolerance in her world. She misses that.
There's two kinds of people here; those who are idealistic, and those who are cynical. There are very little realists here. The idealistic want to live life one way and attempt to do so without really considering the consequences of what they're doing. The cynical live life in such a hopeless manner because they don't believe in the concept of happy or good. These two groups are always fighting each other, mocking and arguing to point of absurdity. The realists are idealistic in that they believe certain things should be certain ways that benefit the whole of society but they are cynical enough to realize that it may not work. They use the framworks of society to change it from within. In Crazy Girl's world, there's a million realists and very little of the other two. The realists have different viewpoints but they listen to each other and decide for themselves if someone has a valid arguement or not. They don't get insulting. No one has to get defensive. It's positively wonderful.
Crazy Girl tries to make this world like her world. But she feels lost and unheard. That's why she wishes her true love was here. Together they'd conquer the world. Maybe then Crazy Girl will have the redemption she seeks. Maybe then she can return to her world and live in relative peace.
Or maybe she'll remain stranded on this place called Earth, a punishment so cruel, but so deserved for her one sin....
The cycle is always there...humans, the cyclical creatures. Fall, Winter, Summer, Spring. Love, Life, and Happiness. And Nothingness. She can feel the spinning of the earth and it feels like a whorl, a downward spiral of sorts, into an abyss of nothingness, into a world that curiously is much like the one she's in but it's different. There's people like her...people with the right amount of idealism and cynicism. People who care and can get mad but also realize that they have their opinions and let others have theirs. In this world is where Crazy Girl's true love lies. He is the shadow against the dark. He is the saving hand in the deprevation of the fog. He is the mysterious one, the one of comfort and of love. Everything she is and isn't and pretends to be so he is. He lives in twilight, not sunlight, not only night. Together, these two angelic demons have the power to crush the world and to save it from ruin. They are fair judges and harsh executioners. Their love is a love that is completely misunderstood and laughed at but it is the only real love that superceedes all other kinds of love. It is the only kind of love that conveys meaning in a single look, a single touch...even in presence or lack thereof. It is a breathtaking and breathless love. Crazy Girl feels sad becuase she can't have him. She can't find him. She sees bits in other men, sometimes, but he knows who he is...he knows who she is. He's dreamed of her too. Their love is love for eternity. A world that includes just them, seperate from the rest of the world. It is a love that includes hate and negatives but is mostly positive and forgiving. Crazy Girl forgives the world because the world will never forgive her....
Tears stream down Crazy Girl's face. The world is harsh, and it's even more mean to Crazy Girl in particular. She stands inbetween those who not only do not believe in God, but believe in nothing. Not believing in God is fine. Not believing in anything isn't. People who believe in nothing don't forgive or have compassion and just drift there justifying their existence by the fact that they're here, entitiled to anything and everything. Even Wiccans can be forgiving and compassionate. But also there are the Christians who believe in entitlement. As if just believing in Jesus Christ automatically saves you. That doesn't make sense. That's too easy, too trite. "Are you saved?" they ask. "I won't know until I get to heaven," she responds. Her understanding of religion is too deep and complex for many people to understand so they make fun of her, either for being Christian or for being Catholic. She has seen the lions and it's you. She shies away from discussions on religion because it always turns into "Those Damn Fascist Christians" or "Those Hideously Evil Paganistic Catholics Who Will Fry In Hell". She is amused by these two groups because they are so alike except for their religions. They don't see it, they are oblivious to the fact that they're using the same names and the same arguements to hate each other. Religion is in rituals and traditions; faith and belief are what make a Christian, or any other religion that people believe in. Everyone loves the hebrew (old) testement God; He will crush your enemies and the unfaithful. But that isn't the teachings of Jesus, which, being a Christian, confuses Crazy Girl about other Christians. Jesus was about compassion and forgiveness. Judgement is up to God. What's so hard to understand about that? What's so hard about letting stuff go? What's so hard about stopping yourself from judging the world and letting God do it for you? For all of Crazy Girl's harsh indictments of people, deep down she doesn't care about it. Ultimately, God takes care of that. So what people are mean to her and are totally loopy? That's not her department. They will get what is due to them. All she can do is just forgive them. But it gets hard to do that when people don't understand what that is all about...and then personally attack her for believing in the God she does. She doesn't care what religion anyone is. She doesn't even really care if a person doesn't believe anything. She just doesn't like being mocked because she chooses to believe in God. As if someone's beliefs are totally superior to anyone else's. Just because she's a Christian doesn't mean that she believes that she has the superior religion. "It is you who say I am".
In her world, religion isn't a big deal. People have their religions and pretty much keep their faiths to themselves. They do try to convert people but they aren't harsh and insulting about it. In her world, everyone realizes that they have their own beliefs and religions and that's perfectly okay because the people of her world value different viewpoints. Those of different religions sit around and discuss their respective religions without insulting each other and inform each other of the various beliefs, and no one thinks that one's faith is jeopordized by listening to other people's beliefs. There is tolerance in her world. She misses that.
There's two kinds of people here; those who are idealistic, and those who are cynical. There are very little realists here. The idealistic want to live life one way and attempt to do so without really considering the consequences of what they're doing. The cynical live life in such a hopeless manner because they don't believe in the concept of happy or good. These two groups are always fighting each other, mocking and arguing to point of absurdity. The realists are idealistic in that they believe certain things should be certain ways that benefit the whole of society but they are cynical enough to realize that it may not work. They use the framworks of society to change it from within. In Crazy Girl's world, there's a million realists and very little of the other two. The realists have different viewpoints but they listen to each other and decide for themselves if someone has a valid arguement or not. They don't get insulting. No one has to get defensive. It's positively wonderful.
Crazy Girl tries to make this world like her world. But she feels lost and unheard. That's why she wishes her true love was here. Together they'd conquer the world. Maybe then Crazy Girl will have the redemption she seeks. Maybe then she can return to her world and live in relative peace.
Or maybe she'll remain stranded on this place called Earth, a punishment so cruel, but so deserved for her one sin....
# posted by Crazy Girl @ 14:11 
